Loss of Hair — Loss of . . .

It starts with the diagnosis of cancer.  Next comes the treatment recommendation — chemotherapy.  We all know what that means. 

Losing hair is often a consequence of this diagnosis and treatment recommendation.  It takes a while to happen, for the hair to start coming out; for some it will start as quickly as two weeks after the first chemo treatment.  Many will hope that they would be one of the few who do not lose their hair, but mostly that is not to be.

Once my hair loss started I would deliberately go through my hair with my fingers to remove loose hairs every day.  The hair was getting into everything so I wanted to try to control it in some way.  Maybe this made me feel I still had some power over something, over how it was going to happen.  I collected the hair in a baggie.  Not sure what I will do with this collected hair, but it seems important to keep it, as a reminder of what used to be.

It may seem that the physical loss of hair for some female cancer patients is the worst part of chemotherapy; I would beg to differ.  The loss of hair is not the end of losses these women face, that I face; it is only part of the journey.  For some cancer patients, there can be other losses. 

The loss of a sense of normalcy.  A normal day is to be no more.

The loss of femininity.  The bareness above creates a bareness within.  We look at ourselves differently now; others look at us differently too.

The loss of hope.  Hope that life will be good again; hope that we will feel good again.

The loss of control over the simplest things in life; control over any part of our life.

The loss of innocence.  We no longer are the same; we no longer face life the same.

Losing all our hair will not affect every woman the same, but it definitely will affect us all in some way.  These losses are real, but maybe in time we can replace our lost hair with a new awareness of the preciousness of life.  A new awareness of living each day to its fullest.  A new awareness of the importance of loving and being loved by the people in our lives.  In that way, when our hair eventually grows back, so will our hope that life is good!

Change, Grow, Evolve

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